Early Education Advisement Services

I have been thinking over these last (almost) 12 months, about the changes we have all been required to make in order to assume this new role of pandemic parenthood. It has not been easy, as we all know. For some of us there have been devastating outcomes to personal health, loved ones, mental health or job security. Never before have we as a global nation been able to empathize with one another without borders, judgment or the capacity of not knowing. None of us know what COVID 19 is doing to our lives, we all know that the outcomes will long surpass what we can fathom and we all know that life has become normal while at the same time has become intolerable. Trying to accept what is has been part of my mindfulness throughout this pandemic because I felt I had no other choice. I have referenced this before and had I only known how relevant it might be I would have waited to analyze the theory but here it is again. Sometimes you can’t go over things, sometimes you can’t go under things, sometimes you just have to go though things. While I wish I were only reading lines from Going on a Bear Hunt, I am unfortunately talking about life. In life we find many ways to convince ourselves that being in control is actually possible because often times with money, resources or time you can indeed find a way over, around or under the situation you find yourself in. Right now in this moment I want you to close your eyes (maybe finish this sentence first) and take a deep breath in, focusing on filling your lungs and silently, or not silently say “fuck”. Okay, that was a big word, I know and I actually just bought myself a sweatshirt that says “good moms say bad words” because while my husband and I do not use strong words as a practice, around our children, there are just some situations that welcome, warrant and need a strong word in order to express the situation at hand. 

We have been locked inside our lives for almost a year, friends and relatives are filing for divorce, people are literally losing their jobs, homes and lives, people are abusing alcohol and drugs, children are being impacted academically, socially and emotionally in ways we do not understand and to me, that warrants a well thought out, calm and deep breath surrounded “fuck”. Okay so we have it, we have said it, we have identified it and now what…? Hmmm, the question that no-one can answer because there is no answer. What a puzzle this is, we always have answers. There is either a person, a place or a thing that can fix everything. Your college boyfriend is being a jerk, answer - best friend and bar hopping. Your kids are stressing you out beyond measure, answer- send them to the babysitter and hit the spa or put on a movie and go take a bath with a glass of wine. Right now, the ability to get what we need or get what we want from the world is very limiting and that can feel oppressive and scary so I thought about it and I realized there is one thing I can control. I can control my output, I can control my thought process around what is happening and I can control my actions towards the situation I find myself in. Now don’t get me wrong, I have had my fair share of temper tantrums and they were not pretty but life is a journey, that was part of my journey and here is where I find myself. 

What I realized was that my biggest passion lies in the union of home and education. I fundamentally believe that if children are able to be supported, feel supported and learn from a place that doesn’t feel disconnected from their home life, that children will be able to learn more, learn faster and learn more foundational tools to build on through their academic life. Since I started my business five years ago I have wished for a way to try out this concept of really marrying together the home-school connection. So while I am not trying to say that COVID 19 has made my dreams come true, I am able to look at the current circumstances I am in and realize I have been handed a gift and one that I both asked for and am passionate about. So while the world does seem to be coming apart at the seams and while there are certainly a shortage of answers to the questions we all have about when and if this will all be over, I am trying to accept the gift I have been handed and allow myself to cherish this time with my children. 

The reality is that we will never again have this much time with our children and we will never again be able to be this involved in their academic lives and while it feels overwhelming now, we perhaps will look back and miss these moments of closeness. Just a thought, one which can be discarded but one I urge you to breath into, just to see where it lands. Sometimes the most simple answers are the ones hardest to see.

I recently had a friend share with me a very intimate moment of motherhood and the raw emotion that can come bursting out of us moms with almost no warning. At times, as a mother it can feel almost impossible that our children would not perceive our presence in our home space. We are always there, we are harping on or asking for or comforting with or demanding from or…always something and so it feels very natural to assume that our presence is a given at all times. My friend shared that her daughter, who is in kindergarten, was setting the table for dinner and held the last plate up while looking confused and trying to figure out who the “extra” plate was for. My friend, with absolute forfeiture in her voice reminded her daughter that it was for her, for mom, mommy, mother, the woman standing there, the human who had cooked the meal in the kitchen she had spent all day cleaning. 
I recently had a similar experience when my daughter made her list of who she wanted to buy presents for during the holidays and while the dog (and my brother’s dog) made the list, mom and dad were nowhere to be found. I looked at her list, her budding handwriting and her organization of who would be receiving something from her and the pride in this feeling of owning the gift giving. I knew there was no malice, I could see that she was genuine in her desire to give and be kind and share her love and compassion. So why had mom and dad been left off? And why had my friend’s daughter so easily and unceremoniously forgotten that her mother was the fourth spot at the table? The answer came to me so undramatically that I had to laugh at its truth. It is because we are there, we are there day in and day out. We are there for every moment, good and bad and in-between. We are there and our children know we are there. When they think of who is going to be at dinner or who should be receiving a show of gratitude they are thinking of those in their lives who come in and out, those they love and cherish because the moments with them are not dependable but rather scheduled or spontaneous and infrequent. 
You moms, and you dads are the ones who are there, we are always there and in the same way you never think to thank your hot water for just being there when you need it most, we are the dependable, stable people in their lives. They don’t remember us because they never have to imagine us not there. 

While it never feels good to be “forgotten”, I urge you to rebrand the idea of what it means when you aren’t the receiver of a gift or a shout out. It means that your child never has to imagine you missing. Trust me when I say that one day, your child will think to themselves, as they are frantic in the holiday splendor “okay, what do I need to get mom for Christmas” and “oh crap we need to buy an extra dining chair because mom and dad are coming for dinner and we are one chair short”. These moments will come, you will be named. There will come a time when you re no longer the constant in their lives. So I urge you to wear your forgotten badge of honor proudly, and know that that oversight of your tiny human is a reflection on your stability in their lives.

Have a happy New Year and may 2021 be a year of reflection, observance and acceptance of who we are, where we are and what we are to those around us.

Covid-ing with Kids
It’s time to quiet the noise and listen to your internal parenting voice. Right now the amount of external noise is deafening and you might even be finding yourself feeling “normal” in these abstractly abnormal times. Let’s get you back to center. 
Close your eyes

• When you think of your child where do you feel them?
  • In your heart?
  • In your chest?
  • In your womb?
  • In your mind?
• Think of a problem you are having right now
  • COVID
  • Politics
  • Social distancing
  • Fear of failure
  • School 
  • Work 
  • Holidays
  • Social norms
  • Environmental stresses
  • Racial disagreement
  • Loneliness
  • Feeling crowded
  • Overwhelm
  • Addiction
  • Your mental health
  • Your physical health
• Where do you feel this problem, this pain?
  • In your stomach?
  • In your back? 
  • In your heart?
  • In your chest?
  • In your throat?
  • In your mind?
• Now think of yourself and think of your child, hold that space for them and hold that space for you. Focus on the area you are holding that pain. 
  • What happens? Do you immediately start thinking about solving the problem? Where do these “solutions” come from?
    • Within you
    • External input
    • Facebook forums and polls
    • Friend’s and Family input
    • Your partners advice
    • Your mothers advice
    • Your fathers advice
    • Your child’s school/camp
• Now take three deep breaths and I want you to clear your mind. Envision your baby, your tiny new infant, cradled in your arms, sleeping and squeaking and smelling perfectly. Hold that image, hold that moment when everything was right there, exactly as it should be. I want you to hold that space and I want you to invite your problem area in. I want you to allow both your child and the problem to exist within you….
  • Now I want you to write down/say/hold in thought the first solution that comes to you. 
    • Why this answer?
    • Where did it come from?
    • It is simple or complicated?
    • Is it from you or from others?

This exercise is meant to be a practice of holding space, there is no right or wrong. It is meant to re-focus your worry, pinpoint the pressure points in your thoughts and in your physical being and bring an awareness to how we can get caught up in a moment and take control of that moment simultaneously.
A reminder that once upon a time (or perhaps this time for you is now) this perfect little being, in this perfect moment in time was overwhelming, engulfing and absolutely strengthening. Right now the world is overwhelming and the external static that fills the empty space of our mind is blinding and deafening.  This moment in time is also overwhelming, engulfing and absolutely strengthening. 


You are a parent and YOU are stronger than you know. 

​Budget-friendly Indoor Activities to Keep Kids Educated and Entertained 
This is a difficult time to be a kid in school: while some schools have opted to stay closed while COVID-19 remains a concern, others have opened with severe restrictions and rules, including mask-wearing and physical distancing measures. For families helping their kids learn from home, there are a number of adjustments that have to be made, whether it’s helping them learn virtually or assisting with schoolwork far more than ever before. Here are some budget-friendly tips for helping your child learn and play at home in the pandemic era.
 
Remote learningAs schools around the country start their fall semesters, kids are experiencing quite a different first day of school than usual. Instead of gearing up to catch up with friends and compare summer stories, they’re signing onto Zoom and meeting their new teachers through a screen. 
 
Not only are they being challenged to learn through a video lesson, but they’re also going to be dealing with far more time indoors and more screen time than usual. If you’re having trouble helping your child adapt, consult early education advisors such as Family Factor for help.
 
Educational tools Because your children will be spending so much more time online, be sure to invest in a budget-friendly computer to help them learn. Not only will it help them complete their homework more quickly, but it will also allow them to play games when schoolwork is over. Before you buy, check out a Lenovo coupon for the best deals on the latest technology.
 
Keep in mind that kids are used to getting up and moving through their day, even in a classroom setting. To help your child adapt, be sure to include plenty of activities that don’t involve screen time.
Offline activitiesEven though screens are highly necessary tools to help children learn during the COVID-19 era, it’s important to include learning and entertainment activities that happen offline.
 
Playing games with your kids is crucial during this time. Not only will you be creating a positive experience for them, but you’ll also be enriching their lives and helping them learn problem-solving skills. Parenting Science explains that board games are excellent for helping children develop critical thinking skills and boosting their decision-making abilities. 
 
Another fun activity to do with your kids is cooking or baking. While it may not seem like much, it helps them learn to follow directions and conduct measurements. They’ll learn valuable lessons about how to prepare food, and if they happen to love it, your whole family will benefit from freshly baked treats or a home cooked dinner.
 
If you have an industrious child at home, Scholastic notes one fun activity is to take something apart. Pick an item that is of low value—like an old cassette tape or alarm clock—and have them piece it apart as slowly as possible to see how it all fits together. This is great for budding engineers and is a fun activity that will challenge and entertain them.
 
For kids who have an interest in biology, consider starting an indoor garden. Planting an indoor garden is easier than you think: all you need is a small container, some dirt, and one seed to get started. Kids will be excited to watch their little plant grow and will learn skills for eventually planting a larger garden outdoors in the spring.
 
While remote learning and indoor activities aren’t the most fun for your kids, sometimes they’re the best we can do while we wait out the pandemic. Be sure to invest in low-cost educational tools to help them with their schoolwork and check out online coupons to save money. Break up their day with some non-screen activities, like helping out in the kitchen or picking apart outdated tech. Use these ideas to help your children stay engaged and entertained, from board games to indoor gardening and even baking. 

Where does the numbness come from? 

I have wondered this for so long, long before I could put a label on what it was,  or what it was doing but now I understand and against all logic, on this particular topic, knowing makes me sadder than not knowing. You often hear the phrase of fight or flight but I think there is a third category of person, the one who remains. There are fighters and we all have them in our lives and look at their tenacity and ability to push everything else away in order to fight for their goal, purpose, mission, whatever it may be. We all have those who fly, perhaps at the earliest sign of trouble or perhaps just before the wall comes crumbling down but they leave and they move on. Then there are those who remain, mostly because they were raised to believe that abuse was love and not that abuse, from someone who should love you is in fact NOT love. As a child you have to remain because you are too small or too alone or too scared or too unknowing, so you do and you grow and you thrive and if you do not fight, for fear of being seen even more, and if you do not fly, for fear of being caught by the tail feathers and dragged back, you simply remain. 
This is where the numbness comes from, I spent years feeling more than I would wish on anyone in a lifetime and I thought it was me being a fighter. I moved from place to place and followed the adventure and I thought that was me flying. Now, as a mother of two young children, in the middle of a political, viral, moral and social war, I realize that I am remaining because it is the only choice I have. I cannot fight my way to November, I cannot fly away from this illness and I cannot protect my children from the reality they are in. I have to remain and that feeling of being stuck, of being unable and of being helpless takes me back to a time where I would rather not be. 

Moments catch me off guard, a moment when I see my daughter being impacted by this distance learning structure and I know that everyone around her is doing everything they can to support her but the reality is that it cannot be enough because it is such a foreign way to exist. These moments feel like a tidal wave of emotion and my body feels flooded and I want to fight and I want to run and I want to ask anyone who will listen to please help me, please help in any way you can. I have literally gotten on my knees and prayed to a God I have only called upon a handful of times in my life and one which I know nothing of, because I have nowhere else to go. It is in these moments I remember that I do have a place to go and I am there. I have my home, I have my routine, I have my role as a mother and a wife and a friend to myself and that role is still there, all I have to do is put one foot before the other and I will be everywhere and do everything that needs to be done. This is where I go numb, I accept that remaining is the only real choice and my emotions become wet socks on an already cold day. Yes, they are a great tool but right now, in this moment, they are useless and there is nowhere to put them to dry so they must remain where they are until the sun comes out, and it will. The sun will come out and the clouds will dry, but for now, they remain. So for all of you out there who have been trying to figure out why you aren’t a fighter and why you aren’t a flyer, I want to commend you on your strength to remain. People study their entire lives to learn the art of meditation, to metaphorically be able to sustain focus when there is a stampede of elephants running by you and you have achieved that. You stand on your own two feet and you put one foot in front of the other and you hold everything you need to hold until you can put it down, stretch your arms and feel the weight lifted. 

Tried-and-Tested Tips to Help You Achieve Work-Life Balance When You Work From Home
 
The idea of pursuing a full-time career from home is truly a compelling one as it promises flexibility and a great deal of family time. Yet, if you’re not careful, you may find yourself more burned out than you would be in a regular 9 to 5. Here are some foolproof tips that can be of great help in maintaining a healthy equilibrium.
 
Tech Tools
 
Tech can make your life easier, and yes, there’s no dearth of ways you can make great use of it as you balance work and family life at home.

• When you work from home, you need to make efficient use of apps that can help you stay productive.
• It’s also a must to make use of effective collaboration and communication software, especially when you work with other people.
• There are apps that can give you a much-needed creativity boost when you’re running dry.
• Tech goes the extra mile as kid-friendly gadgetry can keep youngsters engaged and learning as you work.
• Of course, there are also apps to help you schedule activities, plan meals, and, all in all,  run your home more efficiently.

 
Home Help
 
Working from home full time while also maintaining a healthy and happy home can sometimes be too much of a tall order, so something’s definitely got to give.
 

• When working from home full time, it’s smart to ensure that all hands are on deck with age-appropriate choresfor everyone.
• Consider outsourcing tasks like deep cleaning your home to a professional cleaning service.
• Consider engaging Family Factor to keep your kids academically supported while you’re working.

 
Reliable Routines
 
Balancing work and home at home is not for the faint of heart, so make sure to keep yourself supported on the day to day.
 

• Maintaining a healthy and productive morning routine is essential in setting the right pace for your day.
• Give yourself opportunities for self-care throughout the day by clocking in a workout or indulging in a healthy snack, for instance.
• Make it a point to respect your work hours, so you also don’t neglect the people who truly matter—your family.

 
Ultimately, how well you balance your work and home life depends on how open you are to making use of the tools and other resources available to you, as well as how you stick to the routines that truly serve you and your family. The bottom line is, it can be done, so yes, you’ve got this!
 

 
Photo via Pexels.com

Generation COVID 
Don’t you miss the days when the most common question you were hearing was “what kind of milk in that latte” or “what time do the kids have to be picked up from camp?”. 
The days we are in will forever be remembered and not just in our minds but in our culture. It is hard to imagine how things will ever be as they were before March 2020 and yet it is easy to grasp the concept that one day we will look back and this will just be the “COVID times” that we lived through and are looking back on.

Our children know how to learn naturally, remember that and tell yourself that every morning when you wake up. Our children are incredible and their minds are incredible and they have curiosity and want to learn and be challenged. The lessons they are learning right now are not conventional and they will not be testable in the SAT’s but they are lessons and our children are learning about life and about family. It is hard to be at home with children all day long, we all know that and we all knew that before we were in quarantine. Our children will adapt, they know how to adapt because it is all they have ever known. They didn’t come into this world doing anything other than eating and sleeping (and some babies even need lessons on those tasks). As toddlers, kids and teens our children are doing an incredible amount and it is because they have the innate ability to adapt. 

Right now for many of us the question about “what is happening next year” is playing in a loop on our minds and for valid reasons. It is my experience that not knowing something is far worse than knowing, even if knowing means accepting a truth we do not understand or agree with. So I am here to give you an answer and that answer is that our children are going to be in school as much as they possibly can be. Our school systems are working tirelessly to design a system that works to keep our children and families safe, the educators safe and the community safe.

Those of us in public schools know that the reality of public education often results in lower funding and less flexibility within the structure. Those of us in private schools know that we are paying a college tuition each year but our children are able to receive more flexibility and more time by their educators. It can be very frustrating when a friend talks about their child being at school Monday-Friday come fall and your school does not have that same plan in place. I want to remind everyone of a few things:

1. We have no idea what will happen next year
2. If you need to make a change and get into a different school so your family has the support they need that is OK
3. If your child is only in school two or three days a week and peers are in school five days a week, your child will be okay
4. We are going to get through this
5. We are going to be stronger because of it
   
   We are being given the opportunity of time and self reliance that generations have not had for decades. Try to take a deep breath, try to see the silver lining in all of this because the alternative is a black hole of worry, dread, concern, frustration, anger, anxiety and resentment. Those feelings are okay and valid and necessary but so are many others like gratitude that you have your health, motivation to make changes that you have been wanting, love of the time you have with your children, peace in knowing that people in your community are working tirelessly to keep you and your family safe and educated. 
   
   

There is not always going to be a definite answer and in pre-COVID days we were very trained to get what we want, when we wanted it and in a format that was fit for us. Now we can’t have all the answers and we can’t have all the things. So remember that while you can’t always get what you want….you almost always get what you need. I challenge each and every one of you to find something beautiful in your day that is only there because of COVID. ​

Stay safe, stay healthy and stay sane!